she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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