I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
