We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
