I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Who died my cat blue again?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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