Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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