Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
