U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize