But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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