I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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