Define "chronic" masturbator.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
