Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize