I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
