also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
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