I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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