Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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