Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
