Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
