When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
