I accidentally burped into my bong.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
