She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Randomize