Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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