as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
