I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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