Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
