Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
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Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
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after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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