she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
