dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize
