Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
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