someone threw a dead crab at me
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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