Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
