y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
