Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
