Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
did you just send me my own nude
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
