It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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