Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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