Apparently you make a good broom.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
