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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
