I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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