Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
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Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
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I believe in your delicious
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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