You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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