Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
