ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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