i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
