Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
