how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
