i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
whose parrot is this?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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