I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
and you fell through a lawn chair
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
