Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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