i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
