WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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