So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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