I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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