Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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