he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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