I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
