I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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