i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Randomize
