are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you