Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
