So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
