There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
