This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
