Did you just see the Batmobile???
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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