I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
