kristin has been a bad kristin
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
