better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Randomize
