and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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